The Night I Was Almost Arrested

Having turned 18, I ventured off to that wonderful world of work in Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park. Little did I know then that this would be my home away from home for the next seven summers. I was assigned to work for Yellowstone Park Company in the accounting office as an auditor. All of the summer employees in the office were not allowed to live in the dormitories with other summer transients, but were to live in small apartments above the restaurant. The reasoning behind that was so we could actually get some "sleep." If they only knew...

My roomie was JudyAnn, a typical southern California girl from San Diego. She was drop-dead gorgeous, with long blonde hair and a wardrobe of long dresses and sparkling shoe wear that was totally opposite of this Montana-born girl. It didn't take the two of us long to hook up with Kay and Rozanne, sisters from Dubuque, Iowa. They were the outdoor type--jeeping through creeks and rivers, climbing mountains, fishing, camping--doing all those things I had never done growing up. The fifth wheel was Linda, a meek, mild, intelligent student from Moscow, Idaho--the quiet type, unlike the rest of us.

Our first summer together was quite subdued compared to the following summers. We mostly saw the sites of Yellowstone, played tricks on tourists (hanging our heads out the car window yelling "Look at the MOOSE" when we saw them taking pics of buffalo--okay, so we weren't the brightest crayons in the box back then!), and traveling to other park locations for dances and volleyball matches. I had unfortunately been assigned as coach of the Mammoth team...BIG mistake. So went our first summer together.

Kay and Rozanne chose to work year-round in the park, and the following summer, JudyAnn, Linda, and I returned to continue our adventures. By then all of us had turned 19 years old, and because the drinking age at the time was 19 in Montana, we found ourselves spending much of our free time in Gardiner, MT...only 5 miles from Mammoth. We spent time playing pool at the K Bar, chowing down on home-made tacos at a local restaurant because the Park food for the employees was NOT the best, going to the movies, and in general, just being five silly girls enjoying life.

But everything changed when we all turned 21. It was time to expand our horizons beyond the streets of Gardiner. Early one Saturday morning, we packed our bags, grabbed a few bottles of Catawba wine, and headed for Jackson Hole, Wyoming. And so began one of many unforgettable adventures. Kay drove while JudyAnn, Rozanne, and I dove into the wine. Even back then we knew that we needed a designated driver. (Linda stayed home because she had relatives coming to visit.)

I'm not sure who came up with the idea, but during our 150 mile trek, we decided that we were all going to "become" foreigners. I have to admit that I did have a superb English accent that I had perfected over the years while chatting with tourists. JudyAnn, too, was going to be from England while Kay and Rozanne chose to be from France. Frankly, I thought they sounded more German, but they were trying their best. We concocted stories of how and why we crossed the "pond," (from England to the States), where we had traveled during our visit and the sites we had seen, and most importantly, how the four of us had met. Yes!! We had covered everything or so we thought.

Upon arriving in Jackson, we found our hotel which was within walking distance of the quaint shops, numerous restaurants, and several local "establishments," including the infamous Cowboy Bar. During a late dinner, we continued to use our accents and finalized our "plot." As we began our memorable "night on the town," I convinced my cohorts that the Cowboy Bar was probably NOT the place to go. All the girls needed to do was take one look at the four of us, and they agreed unanimously that we would definitely not fit in with that crowd--no blue jeans or cowgirl hats!

As we were strolling the streets of Jackson, in and out of the boutiques and gift shops, we suddenly heard music...music to our ears. Oh yes!!! It was definitely our kind of music!! Three Dog Night...Paul Revere and the Raiders...and the BEATLES!! Off we went! As we searched for a booth near the bandstand, I could feel the eyes watching us, the heads turning. Of course, they had to be checking out JudyAnn, the knockout of our entourage. Once we were seated, the drinks started arriving out of nowhere, along with offers to dance and chat. This was going to be an awesome night!

Whenever the band started playing a Beatles' tune, we screamed in delight, the crowd cheering right along with us. I wondered if they were cheering at the music or at us. lol At that point it didn't matter...nothing mattered. Some of the fellas were HOT and some were NOT, but in our eyes, they were all HUNKS!! Some were just better looking than others, that's all. Throughout the evening, the HUNKS came and went, but some stayed. I don't recall the name of the fella that seemed to have latched onto me, but I knew he was there for the duration. We chatted, laughed, told stories, and for the most part was having a great time until....

He asked me, "Do you see that guy sitting over there alone?" pointing across the dance floor. "That's my Cousin Sonny. Would you mind if he joined us?"

"Of course not....the more the merrier!"

Once Cousin Sonny was part of our crowd, I noticed that he seemed quite intrigued with JudyAnn, but who wouldn't be? He eyed her from top to bottom, grinning the whole time while trying to make small talk with her. After a few minutes, it seemed that Cousin Sonny was not only intriqued with JudyAnn, but he was becoming rather inquisitive, saying the strangest things and asking her out-of-the-ordinary questions. He had never seen a passport...could he see hers? He wondered what a work visa was...could he see hers? (JudyAnn had told him that she was on sabbatical from London University and teaching several classes at San Diego State University.) She explained to him that she had neither item with her--that she had left them in the jockey box of her rental car.

Before I knew what was happening, "Cousin Sonny" flashed his badge and very bluntly stated: "If you ladies do not provide proper identification within the next five minutes, I'll be forced to arrrest you." It seemed that Cousin Sonny was an officer of the law in search of illegals.

I turned to JudyAnn, who was sitting directly beside me and whispered, "I do believe we are in a bit of a sticky wicket."

I had never seen those three girls move so fast in all my life! They were on the dance floor whooping and hollering to a Beatles' tune. I was dumbfounded...I didn't know what to do. But I did know that I was NOT going to be the one to confess!! I became the "Linda" of the group, the meek and mild one, the quiet one, as I continued to watch my friends devour that dance floor, begging for more and more Beatles' tunes.

Five minutes came and went. Cousin Sonny was quietly waiting the return of my sidekicks. I knew that they would eventually have to find their way back to the booth, but WHEN was the question. And WHAT we were going to do was the next question.

That's when I spotted the three of them heading for the Ladies' Room, so I excused myself from the booth and joined them. It was total chaos in that restroom to say the least. Kay tried to convince us that the badge wasn't real. "Have you ever SEEN one before?" I asked her. "Well, noooooo, but it didn't LOOK real," she adamantly replied.

We giggled uncontrollably as we went over our options. We could find a back door to sneak out (but would probably be seen while searching for that door), we could walk right out the front door and hope no one noticed (like THAT was going to happen!), we could fess up and show him our state driver's licenses (that would make Cousin Sonny look foolish, and we certainly wouldn't want to do that to the poor fella). Like a bolt of lightning, I came up with the perfect plan to escape the law without giving up our true identities!! Or perhaps it was the Catawba wine talking. lol

Cousin Sonny had obviously taken a special liking to JudyAnn. All she had to do was smooze him, cuddle up next to him, maybe put a hand on his knee, turn on the charm, bat her lashes at him a few hundred times, melt his heart, and definitely beg for mercy. She could do it--I knew she could! And that's exactly what JudyAnn did that night. Poor Cousin Sonny didn't know what hit him! He took the bait, hook, line and sinker! Maybe that badge wasn't real, but his very own "plot."

At closing time, we headed out the FRONT door after having said our farewells to all our fans. Even Cousin Sonny received a kiss on the cheek from JudyAnn, more or less to "seal the deal." BUT as we walked back to the hotel, we suddenly heard "Wait! Wait!" coming from behind us. We glanced at each other and slowly moaned together, "Ohhhh nooooo!"

A huge sigh of relief fell over us as we turned and saw it was one of our fans from earlier in the evening. He came running up to us and said that he was going to England...could we give him any ideas about renting a car? Of course, and as I wrote 11212 Carnaby Street on his shirt (no paper available), I told him that my Uncle John owned a car lot and would be glad to help him. RIGHT!! What a NIGHT!!

The next day we ventured to Teton Village to ride the Tram to the top of the Tetons and then headed for Mammoth. I drove this time because Kay was still yearning for a taste of that Catawba wine we were still toting around. All the way home we giggled and reminisced about our antics of the previous night. What a perfect weekend...with one final surprise lurking in the background.

Early the next morning I was awakened by a blood-curdling scream coming from the apartment next door....and then a pounding on my door. It was Rozanne, blurting out that something was wrong...definitely wrong with Kay. When JudyAnn I belted into their apartment, we burst into uncontrollable laughter. There was Kay--covered with hives! It seemed that she was allergic to something in that Catawba wine she wanted to drink so badly.

So ends the first of many great adventures lying ahead! and so ends Kay's taste for Catawba wine!