The Paper Fiasco

From as early as I can remember until I turned 13, I spent endless hours with my grandfather while he delivered newspapers for the Billings Gazette. He taught me everything there was to know about the position of "paperboy" including how to fill the vending machines as we completed his route to various hotels in downtown Billings, transportation depots, and the airport.

My father also had a delivery route as a part-time job, and I would frequently accompany him. I laughed as he would describe the special "techniques" he used to sling a newspaper into the appropriate tube. He taught me how to memorize the patrons' addresses and emphasized how important it was to keep the customers happy.

If he were with me today, I'd make him chase down my current deliver "family" and teach them a lesson or two. Having had subscriptions with the Billings Gazette, the Sidney Herald, and the Washington Post over the years, I have never had the trouble that is now plaguing me with the MC Star. Over the past three years, I've averaged at least one call a month to Jeff, the Circulation Manager for "missing" newspapers, but during the past four months those called have escalated to a dozen calls or more.

I was away for almost the entire month of September and asked my paper to be stopped at that time. It took three calls to Jeff to get my subscription restarted. But after a couple of days, my paper stopped again... another call to Jeff. He explained that a family has the route and they have trouble keeping changes to subscriptions straight. "Oh...please tell me something that I don't already know."

The following week, I telephoned Jeff again...no papers on Tuesday and Wednesday. During that same conversation, I asked him to cancel my paper for the following week because I was going to be away from home. He rushed out to my home to deliver the missing papers, but as for the following week... I came home to find FIVE newspapers stuck in my door handle. What was it about "NO DELIVERY" that these people couldn't understand? Another call to Jeff was in order. I asked him if I were the only person on the route in my subdivision, and he explained the route had 56 customers and that no one else has complained except ME.

Just last week I had another missing paper....another call to Jeff. He explained that it was a "family" route. They have a little trouble with it. "Oh, really? I wouldn't have guessed that."

On Wednesday I waited for my paper to check the election results. You guessed it--NO PAPER! By now Jeff can recognize my voice, of course, and immediately he asked, "What did they do THIS time?" I emphasized, "It's what they DIDN'T do! They didn't deliver my paper again." I inquired as to how many extra papers the carriers were given and discovered they usually have 2-3 spares. "Well then, don't give them ANY extra papers, and when they have one leftover, it's MINE!"

That was yesterday, and I did receive my daily paper. However, it's now Friday and I'm still waiting!! I'm at my wit's end! I need help!